So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
