it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I will pee on everything he values.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
