yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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