tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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