Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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