I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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