I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
