Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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