Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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