Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
