all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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