It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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