so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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