Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
