he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
