it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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