The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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