There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
