Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
