BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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