Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
