If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
that's an acceptable place to lick
this just has baby written all over it
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
