I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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