Pregnant stripper...not hot.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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