just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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