It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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