I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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