Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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