Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
