That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
