My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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