The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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