Porn is love you can see.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I enjoy the company of your penis
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
