so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
