Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
