Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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