And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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