Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
