i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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