we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
