Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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