just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
