White coat. Heels.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
