he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
