how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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