Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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