the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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