Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
