They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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