don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
